What Does Life Mean To You?

What does life mean to you? Is it all about nice cars, lots of money, maybe being number one? Or perhaps it's more about helping those in need and protecting what you believe in? Whichever you think is most important in life, be sure that our actions don't come without a price. What is up to you is that you must decide if that price is worth it. Me personally, I believe that the purpose of life is to live it, helping as many lives as you can, while still protecting your faith. To me, the two most important things in life are faith and love. The love which I refer to is the love that you have for your fellow humans. The love that puts them in a place of importance in your heart. Even if you don't know them, their lives are still important to you.

We all go through so many trials thoughout our lives that we either forget what's really important or we find what's important. When we are given a test in this life, we find out what type of person we really are. We find out what means most to us. To everyone, the things that matter differ, but the thing that stays the same is that we all value something important. Every person on this earth places something above themselves. Sometimes people value materialistic things over other things, but that doesn't mean that they are wrong. It just means they see value at a different level than others do.

Many people have had experiences which leave them devastated and questioning life. I think that every person, in order to find out what life truly means to them, they have to go through something life changing. You can't find importance without the struggle behind it. It's the struggles we go through which creates our understanding of the value of life. Without that struggle, we can never really know what life means. We can't see how important something is without knowing what it's like to not have it.

So what does life mean to you? Have you been blessed with the true understanding of it? If not yet, then one day you will find it. One day, each person on this earth will go through something which helps them find the meaning of life. To some it's cars and money, but to others it's helping and caring. Me, I choose the latter because that is the only way to help others find the meaning they are searching for. Hopefully, we all will find our own meanings in time.

Never Give Up

By now, I'm sure you have all heard of the Binghamton shooting which occurred on Friday, April 3rd. For those who don't know about it, here is a little information on it. Friday morning, a man went on a rampage, killing 13 people and injuring even more. The shooting occurred at the American Civics Association which is an organization that helps immigrants with immigration and citizenship. Before entering this building, he barricaded the back door with his car and entered the front of the building, shooting two secretaries upon entrance. The shooting only lasted three minutes, but it took hours to clear the building and while it was being cleared, the high school was on lock down and many frantic people were unaware of what was really happening. Hours after the first shots were fired, they found the gunman dead.

This isn't a news report, so don't worry about that. There are many things about this incident that I find interesting (not the murders, the after-occurrences). There is one thing that can't be argued, this was a premeditated act. Why this massacre occurred, we will probably never have that answer. There are two conflicting reports which really interest me. The first report stated that the gunman's sister couldn't believe this happened. She said that her brother was a good man and that she never could imagine him doing this. The second report, after saying his name was something different than the first, stated that his family wasn't surprised of his actions. They supposedly reported that he had a drug and gun addiction. Of course we can't believe what the news says, but I find it interesting that there are two completely contradictory stories published by two respected news sources.

What could make a person do this? I believe that any answer you could have to that question would be nothing but an excuse. Everybody has a hard life in one way or another. Every single one of us will face times in which we think there is no way to come away from it; no way out. The thing some of us forget is that there is ALWAYS a way out, no matter how hard it is. There is always a solution to every problem. No matter how hard something gets, with time, there is always an answer.

What would bring someone so low as to take another's life is a question that I have been thinking about a lot. Of course we don't know this man's life, what he was facing, what he had been through, what emotional and psychological problems he may have had. The one thing we do know though is that something pushed him so far that he decided it was worth it to take the lives of 13 innocent people and ruin the lives of many more. Psychological issues are on the top of the list of reasons for murders, but there are no excuses for such an unforgivable act.

This man may had thought that there was no way out or even that there was nothing left to live for. He may had believed that his problems were too big or that his life was too hard for him. No matter what he was thinking, he was wrong. No matter how hard something is, it is never quite as bad as it seems. Look around you. There are orphaned children living on the streets starving, there are people who are blind but trying to live their lives on their own, there are people who can't walk but still strive to be the best people they can be, and there are single parents trying to raise a family and take care of everyone on their own. When we look to these people, we realize that our lives aren't as hard as we think they are. We tend to get caught up in ourselves and forget this. No matter how difficult something is, we can overcome it. The only thing that can stop you from success is yourself. There is always a way out if you want it badly enough. There is always a better life waiting for you to find it. Nothing in this world is bad enough to resort to such violence. Always look to the future of what could be instead of looking at a past that you can't change. No matter how bad something looks, it could always be worse, just don't let it get there. You have to be the best you can be and try your hardest to succeed. Never give up on yourself and you will see how much better life is.

Psycho Teddy

This is completely random, but I love this video. It's amazing. I just wanted to share it with those who don't know psycho teddy yet.

Result Of A Negative Society

I get so tired of hearing the "Mature" adults of this world complaining about how it is the youth's fault that our world is declining dramatically. They blame all of the problems on the younger generations but fail to take responsibility for what they have bred. I am not referring to the actual breading of children but the breading of negativity that surrounds those children. When one takes a step back from this fantasy of blame, they can see the reality of where these ideas that the children carry come from. How does a baby learn to speak? They learn it from observation of those around them. The baby learns their behavior and abilities from those they have contact with. So where do these younger generations learn their ways? They learn them from the culture and world they live in. They are constantly surrounded by the negativity of nudity, violence, drugs, alcohol, and illicit sexual behavior. Is it really a wonder why people turn out the way society creates them?

Overcoming Hardships

No one escapes life without facing obstacles and hardships. Each life is unique in this manner and each obstacle is different than others. Sometimes we think that nobody is going through what we are and that we are alone. Many use this as an excuse for failure. They try to use this excuse of difficulties to fool others, yet fail to realize that they are only fooling themselves.

Today I got the opportunity to hear Dominic Carter speak about overcoming hardships in life. Dominic grew up in the projects of New York City. His father was never around and his mother suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, leaving him in a tough position growing up. He went though foster care and knew what it was like to be poor, not having anything to eat and no money to live on. As he grew up, he seemed to be an average type person and never thought he would grow into anything special. He figured he would be a product of his environment and end up like the rest of his friends; either dead or in jail. However, this attitude changed the day his guidance counselor told him something. Upon asking for a financial aid packet for college, his counselor remarked “Why waste your time? You’ll either be in jail or dead”. This was the defining moment that pushed Dominic to crave success. From that moment forward, he worked as hard as he could to prove that he was not a failure nor would he be another statistic. As the years passed, he graduated from Cortland in three years with a BA in journalism and continued onto Syracuse University. Now he is one of the leading journalists in America and has gained success which most only dream of. He started with nothing and he’s raised himself up to the top on his own.

The main point to his speech was that at the end of the day, if you have failed, you have nobody to blame but yourself. There are no excuses to be heard because you chose not to give it your all. If you want something badly enough, there is nobody who can stand in your way except yourself. In an attempt to make everyone understand what he meant, he used the example of a train. If a train is on course heading for its destination, nothing can stop it. It keeps going until it stops. That stop is up to the conductor and nobody else. I’m sure you got the reference that the train is your goal and the conductor is you. In the end, nobody can stop you but yourself. When you come across an obstacle, you must persevere and flip the bad into good.

In order to find success in life, you have to be able to learn to turn the negatives into positives. For example, a young girl is in a car accident and loses the use of the lower half of her body. After all of the pain and rough times, she still has a very optimistic attitude and she uses her new personality she has gained from her trials to help her continue on. She took her hardship and turned it into strength. This young girl has accomplished something many people never do. She has learned how to overcome hardships. She has taught herself to live on despite her circumstances. If she wouldn’t had learned this, she would had lost her life, not in the sense of death, but in the sense of never accomplishing anything and allowing time to slip from her until it is too late to get it back.

In order to overcome obstacles in your way, you have to find a way to push yourself past them. You have to find a way to control your mind to believe that you can accomplish anything that you need to in life. You have to train yourself to always believe in your potential and forget about those who tell you that you can’t do something. If you allow yourself to listen to people who are negative towards you, then you are only allowing yourself to fail. If you let this negativity be around you or a part of you, you will never have the ability to push yourself forwards past it. At first you may have the strength, but as time goes by, it removes your ability to succeed and brings you down to a level that is hard to rise up from. When it comes to overcoming your difficulties, everyone has to do it a different way. Sometimes it’s by using the negativity towards you to propel you forward whereas other times it may be using your personal difficulties to drive your success. It does not matter which way you find to move you. What matters is your strength and need for a good future.

It doesn’t matter if you are young or old, black or white, male or female, rich or poor. It doesn’t matter where you start out. What matters is where you are going. The past is gone, but the future is constantly being built. Every decision we make, everything we do, shapes our future and lays down the path of ours to follow. We cannot rely on others to make this path for us, only we can do it. In the end, it is up to us whether or not we want to succeed in life. Hard work is the only way we will ever accomplish anything true for ourselves. There are no tricks and definitely no excuses.

Catcher In The Rye

Author J.D Salinger

For English class we are reading "The Catcher in the Rye". This story is a very intriguing one. For those who have read it, know what I mean, but for those who haven't read it, I will give a brief summary. I must warn, however, that the part I did not like about the book is the language that is used on occasion throughout the whole story.

This story is told by Holden Caulfield, a young teen boy who behaves a little beyond his years at times. He is your typical "troubled" kid. He is a loner, disregards authority, and he has an attitude that turns people away from him. He is afraid to let anyone close to him, so he builds these walls around his personality so people will stay away from him. He figures this is the only way to protect himself from getting hurt. Everyone he loves ends up leaving him in one way or another, and he wants to prevent that from happening again. You also see his quest to find a balance between innocence and maturity as he struggles with over compensating for his age and many a times acting like a fool.

The interesting parts of this book is the fact that he is telling the story from a mental hospital and the fact that you get to see his growing deterioration throughout the book. Set back in the 1950's, the story still relates to today's youth in their troubles facing life. Holden has severe depression and is socially awkward. He doesn't know how to talk to girls the right way, nor does he know how to treat friend. He is somewhat stuck in the past when it was a much easier time. He moves from school to school, but eventually ends up in the streets of New York trying to survive.

This book, despite the language and sexual references, has one of the best stories I have read, and I read a lot.It is a little hard to follow, but once you get into the mind of Holden Caulfield, it makes you question what is really the line between sanity and insanity.

Asking For Help

Today I had to meet a man outside for a delivery of mobility aides for my mother since she just returned from the hospital. A van pulls up, the door opens, and there is a man inside. He introduces himself and we strike up a conversation. His van was extremely cool because it was completely equipped to fit his wheelchair and physical needs. In my opinion it was one of the coolest vehicles, equipment wise, I have ever seen. As I was trying to unload the mobility aides, for my mother, I was having a bit of trouble. Being on forearm crutches, it can be a little difficult to move things at times. So this man suggested I ask a lady walking down the street for help. It is not my custom to ask strangers for help, but I did this time. She was very nice and helped me move a few things. After the van was unloaded, the man and I talked a bit. He had been hit by a drunk driver and now he was bound to an electric wheelchair and forced to live with many obstacles facing him.

After a small chat, the man drove off and I was left there thinking. Going through all the trials that I have faced, I have learned to do anything I need by myself. I learned to either get it done by myself or not have it. This "either-or" attitude is something that helped me survive many hardships. As I stood there thinking, my mind kept going back to the man and how he had no problem asking for help. I learned a very valuable lesson today. That is that I shouldn't be ashamed to ask for help. It doesn't make you lesser or helpless to ask. It actually makes you stronger to put aside your pride and realise you need a little help sometimes. This realization has actually changed me and I hope that it will happen with everyone who feels they can be Superman all by themselves.

Equality Under The Law??

My Government class is very open to where we can talk about anything. Okay, well it's mainly just the teacher and me talking since the rest of the class seems to zone out before the class even starts. My teacher was telling us about this 17 year old guy who got into a lot of trouble for having nude pictures of his 16 year old girlfriend on his cellphone. Just to clear this up before I get into my opinion on this issue, I do NOT agree with the couple's actions, nor do I believe that promiscuity of any sort is acceptable.

So anyways, this 17 year old guy has to be forever labeled a sex offender because of an act that he AND his girlfriend did together. The part that bothers me is that she was mutually involved in this act, yet she had no legal repercussions for it. I then brought up the topic of statutory rape. For those who don't know what that is, statutory rape is defined as "sexual intercourse with a person (girl or boy) who has not reached the age of consent (even if both parties participate willingly)". Please note "even if both parties are willing". Again I do not agree with illicit sexual relations between adult or youth. The thing that bothers me is that the law almost always favors on the side of the girl. This is however the opposite if the girl is of age and the boy is not. Coming back to this.. if a boy and a girl the age of let's say 16 have sexual relations with one another, the law will find the boy guilty but the girl will not be found guilty because she is not legally able to consent to such an act at that age (but a boy is??).

The law has not caught up with the times. Nowadays, women are much more likely to engage in a sexual activity than they used to be. I don't think that the law should force punishment on the guy but not the girl even though the sexual relation was completely mutual. One thing that our government tries to promote is that in the US there is equality under the law. How is this equality if it is biased? I don't care if anyone agrees with me or not, but I see this as completely unfair. The law should consider both parties equally guilty if the act was indeed mutual and not forced.

Slug Reproduction

Today whilst on my way to school, I started a random conversation about slugs with one of my friends. During the chit-chatter of the conversation, a question came to my mind, "How do slugs reproduce?". To search for the answer, I went to one of my favorite teachers. Here is how that conversation went...

(me) "Mr. Mihalko, I have a random question for you"
(him) "Yes, Shana?"
(me) "How do slugs reproduce?".

You should had seen his face drop into that really distorted HUHHH look. It was priceless. Anyways, he didn't know the answer, so I went to another teacher who thought of using Google to find out. Are you ready for the answer of how slugs reproduce?

Here we go... Slugs are hermaphrodites (has both male and female reproductive organs). Once a slug finds it's mate, they entangle themselves in a ball with their portruding genitalia. Once the mating is concluded, each mate bites off the male genitalia from the other, which leaves each slug forever female. Once they decide to mate again, they can only mate with another slug which has not mated yet since it will be the only male mate in this act of reproduction. This is one of those disturbing yet interesting facts to know so I had to share it with everyone.

Happiness Upon Hardship

(The following is a conversation between a girl named Myiesha and a psychologist named Aaliyah. Myiesha has a rare genetic disease and Aaliyah has been asked to speak with the young girl about her understanding of the condition that is plaguing her.)

Aaliyah: Hello there. My name is Aaliyah. I work here at the hospital, and I was wondering if we could talk for a little bit?

Myiesha: (A big smile brightens up her face). Sure, I’m Myiesha.

Aaliyah: Oh that is a pretty name. How old are you Myiesha?

Myiesha: Eight.

Aaliyah: The reason I am here is because I have been told that you are kind of sick and I wanted to talk to you to see what you thought about that. Would you mind telling me how you got to staying here at the hospital?

Myiesha: I’m here because I got sick the day my mom, dad, and brother died.

Aaliyah: Oh, I see… do you mind telling me what happened that day?

Myiesha: Well, we were all going to go out to eat at the new place, but before we left I wasn’t feeling good. My tummy hurt, so my mom left me at my friend’s house. I went to sleep and when I woke up, Mrs. Ali said we had to go to the hospital to see my family. When we got there, a lady told us that my family was in an accident and they died from drowning in the river that the car fell into. The last thing I remember is that Mrs. Ali hugged me, but then everything went black. I woke up the next day and the doctor told me I was sick and I had to stay in the hospital for a while till they fixed me up.

(Unsure of what to say next, Aaliyah sits in silence for a few moments trying to think of the right response)

Aaliyah: Did the doctor explain to you what is wrong with you?

Myiesha: Yes. He said I have something called Batten Disease. It only happens to kids and is very rare but I’m one of them. He said that it makes you shaky and it makes you so you can’t move right. Oh and he said that it makes you not be able to see. He didn’t tell me something, but I heard some nurses talking about it. They said that one day I won’t wake up like my parents didn’t wake up.

(For the first time, Aaliyah realizes that Myiesha is already blind from the disease as the girl sits in her wheelchair staring at the floor, but holding a composure unlike that of a child, but similar to a mature adult.)

Aaliyah: Myiesha, how do you feel about all of this?

Myiesha: Sometimes it makes me sad, but it also makes me happy too.

Aaliyah: How does it make you happy?

Myiesha: (Another big smile lights of the girl’s face)

Because God loves me so much that he gave me a special life. I hurt a lot, but God made it so I am special and that I see life differently. God also loves me so much that he gave me a chance to go to heaven. Even though I hurt a lot, God uses it to make me a better person. One day I will get to see my family again. For that, I would go through any pain in this world. We forget that this life is only here for a little while; someday we will go to our next life and that’s when living really starts. Anything we go through now doesn’t last, but one day we will have a great life. We can’t forget that.

(With tears in her eyes, Aaliyah bends down to hug this little girl that has shown so much courage in her time of pain; this young girl that sees past this life to the beauty of the next. Aaliyah had never met anyone like her before, and doubted she would ever meet anyone like her again. As Aaliyah hugs Myiesha, she makes a resolution in her heart that she would do everything she could to help others who are suffering. She would do everything in her power to show others this courage and love this little girl has shown her.).

This Cloth That I Wear

This cloth that I wear, beyond it is a beauty that I hide.
The physical appearance is not what's inside.
My heart, my love, my brain, and my knowledge is what shall be.
For if you miss those, it is not me that you see.

Hearing of oppression only makes me ponder,
Why do people think you can't see what is yonder?
For you can't see the wind even as it blows.
Yet you still believe the wind is strong and that it grows.

Why can't they see me from behind my hijab?
I do not veil for them, I veil for God.
If you can't accept me for what you can't gaze your eyes upon,
Then you don't really know me and I guess you'll never see,
That I am not oppressed, I am free.

The Memories

They're coming after me. I try to hide, but they always find me. Even in the darkest corner, I'm not safe. The thoughts of what they'd do to me, nearly drive me insane. I am not afraid of them, I am terrified of them. I don't know what to do. How do I escape them? How do I free myself of them for good? They have found a way to tear at my heart. A way to enter my mind. If they find me, I'll be forever doomed. I can't allow them, the memories of my past, to break my soul.

Hidden Emotions

We keep things hidden inside that we are too afraid to show. When we have nowhere to turn, we push our feelings down and try to pretend that they don't exist. We cover ourselves with a mask as though, with that mask, we are freed of our emotions. If we are lucky enough, our trick will work for a while until the inevitable happens and our hidden thoughts burst up and overwhelm us. They feed on us until we break down and face them. Tears help to wash away the feeling of helplessness and loneliness that can break us if we allow such to happen. We can never rid ourselves of these, but we can try to take control of them so they don't hurt as much.

Secrets

We must be careful when exploring the places we have tried to keep hidden. For once we open the door to those unrevealed places, we don't know what unforeseen thing lies behind it. The secrets that we bury will return to us at a speed that we cannot stop. When we decide to uncover that which is repressed, we must bear the burden that comes along with such. We must carry the responsibility of what we discover.

There Are Things Which We Never Speak Of

There are things which we never speak of. There are things which never cross our lips. Even though our minds and eyes say them, we have an unknown fear of actually bringing them to audible words. For if they are heard, it is as though we are vulnerable. We are vulnerable to the only thing that we believe to control by ourselves. Thoughts like these are the ones that prevent us from opening up to the ones we trust. We feel as though we can’t share these thoughts without having some consequence brought to us. Even our closest friends and loved ones never know our innermost feelings. They do not truly understand where we come from because we lack the ability to express ourselves fully whilst having this fear of being vulnerable to openness. We don’t know if there will ever come a time that this fear will be wiped away and lack the inability of bearing ourselves, however, we must always believe there will one day be a time that we can do such.

The Darkness' Hold

The darkness has a tendency to distort and influence your thoughts. When you are in the light, the darkness has no control over you. Once you return to the darkness, the light is of no aide. The light brings about peace, and the darkness brings about uncertainty. Things which seem fine during the day appear distorted at night. I don’t know if it is because of the loneliness and solitude found at night, or if it is because the light is nowhere to be found. Either way, I always dread those hours spent in darkness. My mind races and my heart hurts of uncertainty. I doubt myself and I fear that which, during the day, gave me little grief. There is no way out of the darkness, and the only way to come to terms with and deal with it is to realize that it has no power over you. It is only an illusion that your mind perceives as a reality. This false reality only has a hold on you whilst you allow it to. Once you let go of the fear, the darkness loses its power.

Inside

My eyes don't even dare look at my reflection. It is not my outside that bothers me, it's my inside. No one sees what I do not allow them to. I do not show them how I really feel and I do not show them my true self. I fear that if I show them my true self, that I will become vulnerable to them. If I do not share my heart, then I do not have to deal with the inevitable pain of it breaking. Lately, I do not know what to do. I feel myself becoming weak inside. I have allowed the outside world to influence my emotions. Sometimes I feel that if we had no emotions, that we would be a lot better off. Emotions always end up ruining things and hurting us. I wish I could just become hard on the inside so that it wouldn't hurt or bother me any longer. If I had a shell around my heart then nothing could come close enough to harm it. Nothing would hurt me ever again.

DATE UNKNOWN... REMEMBERANCE OF MY STRANDING

For the past three nights I have had nightmares. I don’t get much sleep since I must always remain alert for the various dangers lurking behind every crevice on this island. However when I do sleep, the nightmares always chill me to the deepest core of my body. The dreams always start out the same. In the dream I am on a plane. I am sitting next to a Muslim woman in her mid-twenties or so. She is covered beautifully in black with a small child sitting on her lap. The girl-child of hers has the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. As I look into the child’s eyes, I see a peace there that I have long searched for. Is it that this child knows no hardship that would break her heart, or that this child is not clouded by the negative influence that surrounds other humans? Such an influence brings the toughest of creatures to their knees. This child’s eyes intrigue me beyond reason, beyond explanation. I asked the little girl what her name was and she replied “Maha”. I in turn said “Salaam Maha. You have a very beautiful name, Masha’Allah. My name is Fatima”. The smile that Maha gave me seemed to melt away my problems. As my mesmerization with this child began to wear off, I felt the whole plane jerk. I kept repeating over and over that this was normal even though I knew that it wasn’t. I knew that the chances of surviving a plane crash were slim to none, but I couldn’t loose hope. I prayed that the plane would stay in the air. I prayed that the pilot would get us there safely. However, most of all, I prayed that the precious little child sitting next to me wouldn’t be hurt. All I could hear were screams of anguish and despair, worry and concern, hopelessness, and yet wails of hope. I have never been in such a situation as now. I didn’t know if I would live or die, but all I cared about suddenly was how I lived my life. I was thinking of all the bad things I have done rather than focus on the current catastrophe. The back of the plane was ripped off and I saw dozens of people fly from their seats. I was frozen to my seat, all I could do was look at Maha and in her eyes I saw fear. The fear in her eyes gripped me and terrified me. Just as the plane was to collide with the water, I awake. I never get past this part of the dream, but what I do recall in my dream, terrifies me. I am forced to wonder if this is how I got on this island or not. It would of course make sense, but I don’t have the evidence to prove it. As of right now, I am accepting that possibility as the solution to the question “How did I get here?” For now all I can do is try to survive on an island that I now call home.

DAY UNKNOWN: REMEMBERING WHAT I HAVE FORGOTTEN

Since I have been on this island for no one knows quite how long, I decided that I would make my stay as pleasant as can be. I found better wood to make a stronger and more comfortable shelter from and I also found a large piece of plastic, which I have no clue where it came from, to make a door out of. A while back I had made a knife out of some glass-like stone I found. It has surely served a great purpose and I use it for various chores such as cutting fish, stripping bark, and carving. Today I decided to use it to carve some furniture, or the closest I can come to it, for my new home. It’s sort of weird to think about, but I do consider this awful island my home now. I have been here for quite some time, and I don’t know if I shall ever leave. To me, it would be horrible to die without knowing some place as a home. Anyways, after a good portion of the day was spent carving furniture, I found that it was quite easy to make chairs and whatnot. Furniture out of the way, I decided to take a walk along the beach and see if anything new was happening. I love to stroll down there, with a slight breeze blowing against my skin and the sun shining down on me, not in a horrid weather way, but in a soft comforting shine. Strolls always relax me and make me, for just a little while, forget about my problems. Every time that I am alone like that and at peace, I get this feeling deep inside of me as though I am forgetting something very important to me, however I can never remember what it is. This day, however, I remembered exactly what it was as a flow of words came from my mouth, “Laa ilaaha ill Allah”.

DAY UNKNOWN: A REALIZATION OF MY PAST

I don’t know how long I’ve been on this island. Every morning and every evening seem the same to me. I don’t know if it’s just me, or if it is what happens to everyone who is stranded on an island. However, I don’t really recall many accounts of island strandings, besides the crew from Gilligan’s Island. I have noticed how my hygiene has somewhat declined, but what’s to be expected in such conditions as I am currently in? Some may say that I am becoming crazy and delusional. Heck, I would if it wasn’t me in the situation, but since it IS me…I know that I am still somewhat sane. If being insane saves me from spending the rest of my life on this island, then so be it. I found a small suitcase today as I was searching for some of those berries I have come to love. I realized that it must had washed ashore while a tide came in. I didn’t know whose it was, but I looked inside it anyways. Inside I found various items that I somehow subconsciously remember. I found a mirror and turned it over slowly so that my reflection was staring back at me. It’s the first time I have seen myself since waking up on this island and not knowing who I was. So it was sort of like seeing myself for the first time. My hair was down to the middle of my back and my hair had definite damage done to it, but this wasn’t important to me anymore. Whilst looking at myself in the mirror, images I’m supposing are from my past, came back to me. I saw myself standing in the halls of a high school surrounded by a few close friends. I had on a long black skirt and a hot pink top. After remembering that little bit about myself, I looked down at my current appearance and wondered what had happened. I used to be so beautiful and now as I look at myself, I wonder where my beauty has gone. I sat down and thought on this for a long time, finally realizing that I sacrificed my beauty for my survival. It doesn’t matter what one looks like on the outside, as long as the inside has the right intentions. I decided that if I ever do get off this island, that I wouldn’t allow materialism to rule my life anymore.