Personal Intro

If I were to return to my hometown just as I am today, I doubt that anybody would recognize me. Today stands a young woman in the place of what was a young teenager who was typical of the time and place of past. I can honestly say that I am 180 degrees of what I used to be and for me that is a great thing.

I was raised in a place which is a very conservative and narrow-minded place, especially in the 90s. Where I consider to be my hometown has a population of around 3,000 people which is a small town. Everyone was pretty much the same.. white, American, Christians, and if you weren't all of these, you were considered a serious outsider. Just as everyone else, I blended in and joined a church because I was supposed to be Christian just as everyone else was. My family was not religious at all. I joined The First Baptist Church when I was 8 years old after my grandmother died. I was baptized by the age of 9 after my grandfather died and I was very active in the church. Sunday church, Sunday school, Discipleship training, Wednesday youth group, Wednesday church meetings, and Friday youth group were all must-attends for me. I was the first person to find a bible verse and I was the first one to recite what I knew.

All in all I considered myself to be pretty religious, especially for a child. There were times that I felt unsure of my beliefs though. I was taught that Christians are not allowed to question about their faith because it is as if we are questioning God himself. Other times I witnessed our youth pastor teach us that women weren't equal to men and when I questioned him about this I was made to feel as if I was betraying God for my unfaithfulness. This made my faith start to slow down. I finally saw that something wasn't right in what I was being taught. I turned to the bible and to prayer. I read the bible but many passages didn't make sense to me. I prayed but then I started to wonder why I prayed more to Jesus than to God and why I turned to the son instead of the creator. I started to question all that I knew and all that I grew up with. After not finding the answers to my questions, I started to lose my faith and my prayers slowed down and my church-going slowed as well.

Then one day, as I was getting ready for school something massive happened that ended up paving the way to my answers. On the TV, images of planes crashing flocked the screen as well as panicked cries. That September morning brought a new word to me, Islam. Before that day, I had never heard of the religion of Islam nor the word Muslims. Montana just wasn't a place for exploring or teaching diversity. I sat day after day watching the news and listening to the radio about anything to do with what had happened in New York. I heard horrible things that I knew in my heart couldn't be true. I didn't know the first thing about Islam but when people said that what the terrorists had done was what Islam taught, I stood up and said that this couldn't possibly hold an ounce of truth. I had no facts to back me up but I felt in my heart that no honest religion could teach that and I refused to believe it. After that day, there was a new idea was in my life.. Islam.

A couple years later, my mother married a Pakistani man who again brought the idea of Islam back into my life. He didn't show me Islam, but the ways he followed made me question if Islam was truly that way and thankfully I found that it wasn't. I started to research Islam and saw how great it was. Then I moved to Pakistan and spent 6 months there where I learned true Islam from my grandfather-in-law. He was a great man who showed me Islam instead of culture. He invited me to question life and why things happen the way they do. He showed me how to pray and he encouraged me to read the Qur'an. After a while of searching for the truth, I found it in the words of Allah (swt). I found the Qur'an to hold everything I had questions about. I found Allah's words to give me comfort and it moved me in a way that nothing else has. I decided to take my Shahadah and I knew that it was the right thing for me to do.

After that day, many obstacles landed in my path. Many new trials came and I had to learn new ways. My whole life did a drastic turn. I started dressing differently, acting differently, speaking differently, and most of all I started seeing things differently. I learned respect for myself as well as everyone else and I learned the importance of living a good life. I put other things first in my mind instead of myself. I began to grow as a person and I became a better one for doing it. Becoming a Muslim has changed my life amazingly. It has given me a reason to live a good life and to want a good life for myself and for those I love. It has given me strength and self-respect. It has made me who I am today and guided who I have become.