The Memories

They're coming after me. I try to hide, but they always find me. Even in the darkest corner, I'm not safe. The thoughts of what they'd do to me, nearly drive me insane. I am not afraid of them, I am terrified of them. I don't know what to do. How do I escape them? How do I free myself of them for good? They have found a way to tear at my heart. A way to enter my mind. If they find me, I'll be forever doomed. I can't allow them, the memories of my past, to break my soul.

Hidden Emotions

We keep things hidden inside that we are too afraid to show. When we have nowhere to turn, we push our feelings down and try to pretend that they don't exist. We cover ourselves with a mask as though, with that mask, we are freed of our emotions. If we are lucky enough, our trick will work for a while until the inevitable happens and our hidden thoughts burst up and overwhelm us. They feed on us until we break down and face them. Tears help to wash away the feeling of helplessness and loneliness that can break us if we allow such to happen. We can never rid ourselves of these, but we can try to take control of them so they don't hurt as much.

Secrets

We must be careful when exploring the places we have tried to keep hidden. For once we open the door to those unrevealed places, we don't know what unforeseen thing lies behind it. The secrets that we bury will return to us at a speed that we cannot stop. When we decide to uncover that which is repressed, we must bear the burden that comes along with such. We must carry the responsibility of what we discover.

There Are Things Which We Never Speak Of

There are things which we never speak of. There are things which never cross our lips. Even though our minds and eyes say them, we have an unknown fear of actually bringing them to audible words. For if they are heard, it is as though we are vulnerable. We are vulnerable to the only thing that we believe to control by ourselves. Thoughts like these are the ones that prevent us from opening up to the ones we trust. We feel as though we can’t share these thoughts without having some consequence brought to us. Even our closest friends and loved ones never know our innermost feelings. They do not truly understand where we come from because we lack the ability to express ourselves fully whilst having this fear of being vulnerable to openness. We don’t know if there will ever come a time that this fear will be wiped away and lack the inability of bearing ourselves, however, we must always believe there will one day be a time that we can do such.

The Darkness' Hold

The darkness has a tendency to distort and influence your thoughts. When you are in the light, the darkness has no control over you. Once you return to the darkness, the light is of no aide. The light brings about peace, and the darkness brings about uncertainty. Things which seem fine during the day appear distorted at night. I don’t know if it is because of the loneliness and solitude found at night, or if it is because the light is nowhere to be found. Either way, I always dread those hours spent in darkness. My mind races and my heart hurts of uncertainty. I doubt myself and I fear that which, during the day, gave me little grief. There is no way out of the darkness, and the only way to come to terms with and deal with it is to realize that it has no power over you. It is only an illusion that your mind perceives as a reality. This false reality only has a hold on you whilst you allow it to. Once you let go of the fear, the darkness loses its power.

Inside

My eyes don't even dare look at my reflection. It is not my outside that bothers me, it's my inside. No one sees what I do not allow them to. I do not show them how I really feel and I do not show them my true self. I fear that if I show them my true self, that I will become vulnerable to them. If I do not share my heart, then I do not have to deal with the inevitable pain of it breaking. Lately, I do not know what to do. I feel myself becoming weak inside. I have allowed the outside world to influence my emotions. Sometimes I feel that if we had no emotions, that we would be a lot better off. Emotions always end up ruining things and hurting us. I wish I could just become hard on the inside so that it wouldn't hurt or bother me any longer. If I had a shell around my heart then nothing could come close enough to harm it. Nothing would hurt me ever again.

Time

Time isn't always as we perceive it. One day, a minute could seem like an hour. Another, an hour could seem like a minute. We fool ourselves into thinking that we have time. Time to do all the things we put off daily. Time to change ourselves into the people we wish to be. However, this is only an illusion. We think we have time to do things later when in reality we don't. Watches, clocks, and dials have kept time for us over the years, but we have still have failed to realise that we do not own time, time owns us. Everyone's hourglass, which contains their sands of time, varies. Someone's might be half-full whereas another's is quickly running out. No one knows when their destined time will come, and no one knows in which way it is coming. All we can do is live our lives while trying to be the best we can be. We can't wait around for time, and we can't allow it to pass by. For once time is gone, we can't get it back.

Alone

All alone in the dark, i can see nothing any which way i turn. I can hear nothing but the eerie calm of silence. My heart skips a beat as my imagination begins to plays tricks on me. How i got here, i do not know. I am just as clueless to where i am as to who i am. A name is such a simple and instinctive thing to know, but i do not obtain this basic knowledge of myself. I do not know my past nor my present. This darkness terrifies my senses and makes my insecurities take flight. I don't know if i will be able to survive such emptiness as that which surrounds me. I can feel it grabbing at me. It tears like claws into my soul. It has already taken my identity. The only thing left for it to steal is my life. Life is such a precious gift that one should not give up easily. We only receive one, so why should something that doesn't deserve it be allowed to take it? The coldness is getting unbearable. My body shivers and shakes with the wind. I can feel my life slipping, but i won't give up... i can't give up something that i hold so dear. It will just have to rip the life from me.